It’s a question as old as time: “What is my purpose in life?” As far back as the fourth century BC, Aristotle was pondering life’s purpose and developing his theory of teleology, or the idea that everything in life has a purpose. In today’s fast-paced, technology-filled world where I am being pulled in many directions at once, finding the purpose of my life seems more important than ever.
Sometimes I spend my time reacting to situations instead of being proactive and figuring out the needs and values that drive them. Even when I think I know my purpose, I often mistake it for a short-term goal. If I’m not growing, I’m dying which is why growth is addictive to me. I naturally only feel fulfilled when I’m improving myself or my life in some way.
The questions “What is my purpose in life?” and “How can I be happy?” are the same, and they have the same answer. I can never truly understand how to find my purpose by listening to others’ opinions and seeking outside approval. Everything I need is within me. The only thing holding me back is my own limiting beliefs.
A purpose is the “why” behind my actions. It’s the reason I get up in the morning, the thing I strive for every day. It’s something external to me. It’s how I contribute to the world. For example. Bringing people together or Teaching people new skills.
These all focus on serving others, and that benefits me in return. But I can execute them in many ways. To “bring people together,” I could be an event planner or run a restaurant. “Teaching people new skills” could mean being an elementary school teacher or becoming a life coach.
Sometimes all it takes to change my life is to know where I am coming from. Whenever a building is built, it starts with a blueprint, a master plan by the architect according to which the people who are building it will take their steps.
A building without a sound blueprint seldom results in something builders would be proud of. It is the base on which the building stands. My life is also a building for which I am the architect.
And based on the blueprints, architects have for their building called life, it results in a hut, a villa, a mansion, or a monument. For the initial part of my life, the blueprints are not in my hands, they are the result of the surroundings I am in.
But, once I come to an age of understanding the things around me, I have full control over the blueprint for my life. That is the reason two people coming from the same family, the same locality and under the same circumstances, end up creating two different lives for themselves.
There is a story about two brothers who had an alcoholic father. One of them succeeded in life, while the other one didn’t. When it was asked the reason for their situations in life, both had the same answer, my father was an alcoholic. One of them continued with whatever blueprint he was given while the other one worked to amend it.
Everything in life is calling me to grow. When I stop growing, I start feeling pain, fear, and anxiety. I am then susceptible to envy as I look around and see what everyone else has that I don’t. Instead of asking “What is my purpose in life?” I start coveting status, material goods and power. But all those things will ultimately leave me feeling empty.
Goals, like buying a house or opening a business, yield a sense of achievement and are essential to living the life I desire. Purpose takes those goals to an even higher level. Achieving goals does not equal happiness. So, if I’m asking myself, “What is my purpose?” what I’m asking for is progress – a true sense of fulfilment. And fulfilment isn’t a luxury or leisure activity – it’s a necessity.
Achieving goals may not help me find the purpose of my life, but knowing my purpose can help me achieve my goals. When I truly know my purpose, I’ll experience a sense of clarity like never before as I’m able to connect what I want to achieve to my ultimate fulfilment. I’ll feel passionate, driven and laser focused. I’ll stop battling with the past and the future and start living in the present, and that’s the greatest gift I can give myself.
To truly take ownership, I must stop playing the victim. Realise that every circumstance in my life is a result of my own decisions, not anyone else’s. A lack of awareness about my own needs can leave me with a false sense of purpose. One that is based on others’ expectations. This is why I can reach the top of the career ladder, find the “perfect” partner or be in the best shape of my life, but still not feel happy. Fulfilment begins with my innermost needs.
Writing helps me organise my thoughts and discover new ones I may not even know I had. It helps me reach my goals, improve my memory, and decrease stress, which are all essential when I’m learning how to find my purpose. Putting my life in writing can reveal hidden meanings I may not see otherwise.
One of the hardest parts of learning how to find my purpose is letting go of old identities and interests that no longer serve me. Yet it’s something that must be done. My purpose is also likely to grow and change as I grow and change. I must be willing to be flexible and listen to my innermost wants and needs.
Finding my purpose is a lifelong journey. Being flexible lets me grow in integrity while being true to myself. When I develop my core values and stop seeking external affirmation, I’ll find that the question of “What is my purpose in life?” is much easier to answer.