Listen without prejudice is our ability to observe without forming conclusions. It is a deep connection that starts with interest, open-mindedness and paying attention to every detail including flaws. It is an attitude of our heart which leads to change.
So many words get lost when we speak in ignorance. Words leave our mouths and lose their courage, wandering until they are swept into the gutter like dead leaves. As a result, communication breaks down and we can easily become frustrated.
Hearing is a temporary thought that takes place in our mind, but listening is done in our hearts. Until information enters our hearts, it is only a temporary thought (Hearing). Our heart is the source of change, and change doesn’t happen until the information gets into our hearts. It is the place where we store beliefs and convictions that regulate our behaviour.
As water reflects our face, that’s how our heart reflects our behaviour. The same way we look in a mirror and see ourselves is the same way our heart reflects our attitude towards others. We are what is in our hearts. When love is in our hearts, it becomes difficult to hate, discriminate or place conditions on others.
There was a time when it wasn’t uncommon to use a piece of string to guide our words that otherwise might falter on the way to their destinations. Life is like listening to a favourite song. The aim is not how quickly we get to the end of the song, but how much we enjoyed every note along the way. When we talk, we are only repeating what we already know, but when we listen, we make new connections which are what learning is?
So many misunderstandings in relationships are caused by one or both partners feeling like they’re not being heard. Learning how to be a good listener can do so much to address this. That doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing all the time, but rather making it clear we’ve understood them or that we are trying to understand them.
We never really understand others until we consider things from their point of view. Understanding our inner sufferings will resolve most of the problems we encounter. There is meaning in all things when we hear each other out. It is paying attention to what we hear and allowing it to travel to our minds.
We are aware of what others are saying and so we listen to acquire knowledge and receive information. We can receive and interpret a message transferred by others in the process of communication. It is intentional and we are selective to only those messages we think are important to us.
People, in general, do not know how to listen. We have ears that hear very well, but we have never been taught the necessary skills which would allow our ears to be used effectively to hear someone out.
The problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to the reply. We can hear what’s behind the words when we listen with curiosity, not with the intent to reply.
It is only human to go on a militant search for evidence which proves us right in what we believe. Seldom do we search for evidence to prove ourselves wrong. If we make up our minds to seek out the ideas that may prove us both wrong and right, we are less in danger of missing what others have to say. Some people (Frenemies) could hear us speak a thousand words and still not understand, and others (Friends) would understand without us even speaking a word.
Learning begins with listening, and it requires self-control, sometimes more than many of us can muster, but with practice, it can be turned into a valuable habit. The main objective is to comprehend each point made by the talker.
Judgements and decisions are reserved until after the talker has finished. Then, we can review their ideas and assess them. It is the key to all effective communication, and without the ability to listen carefully, messages are easily misunderstood.
Listening to others, especially those with whom we disagree, will test our ideas and beliefs. It forces us to recognise with humility that we don’t have a monopoly on the truth.
It’s hard to listen when others are talking because we are always thinking of a response to help or advice. One of the sincerest forms of respect is listening to what others have to say.
The ability to listen with can be affected by our emotions acting as filters. We reach up and mentally turn off what we do not want to hear. Or, when someone says what we are interested in, we open our ears wide, accepting every truth, half-truth, or fiction.
Communication flourishes when there’s trust, but flounders when there’s judgement or criticism. Hearing me without making judgemental statements or putting each other down is crucial to building and maintaining trust. Even if what we are saying doesn’t make sense to you, butting in or picking holes is only likely to hurt, not convince.
We tend to think of communication as just being about expressing ourselves, but that’s only half of it. It’s also just as important to know how to listen. Being able to listen to others effectively means we can better understand their perspective. It means we are more likely to have constructive conversations where we feel our point of view is considered.
It is looking out for the meaning behind words, and hearing not just what others are saying, but what they’re trying to say. Asking open-ended questions like, what was that like for you? is a great way to open the conversation further, as it will give them the chance to explain things in their own words, rather than having words put in their mouth. Hearing is listening to what is said but hearing me out is hearing what isn’t said.
The difference between hearing and listening is paying attention. It gives wings to our minds and flight to our imagination. Others don’t always need advice, sometimes all they need is an ear to listen and a heart to understand their feelings. One of the best ways to persuade others is with our ears.
The ability to listen was hard to practice in lockdown because texting had become our normal way of conversation, and our feelings had become statuses and tweets. Our minds were dull as they waited for a visit from the images and thoughts that hold the radiance of our beauty.
Listening without prejudice is a form of touch. We feel it through our body and sometimes it almost hit our face. The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as being heard. It is about being present, not just about being quiet. It takes two to speak the truth. One to speak and another to hear. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart to suffering can be a big comfort.