Who am I?

Who am I?

The Question?

Who am I is a gentle conversation that can bring energy into our environment? It satisfies our soul like food nourishes our body. Whatever we say after these two words “I AM” determines our identity which is who we believe we are. 

• The question is like an angel with a few scars, a broken heart and a voice that should be heard? The distance between who we are and whom we want to be is separated only by our words and actions.

• A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject. It is the eyes, the smiles, the silences between the words and saying the right thing at the right place but leaving unsaid the wrong thing at a very tempting moment. 

• The right words at the right time will unlock the door to treasure. It’s hard to stay in the present or work to fashion a viable future when the past is constantly roaring by with its sirens blaring.

Self Talk.

• Our circumstances may shape the conversations we have, but those conversations will also shape our lives. We don’t just tell stories; they tell us. They tell us whom we think we are. 

• If we continually have self-talk about ourselves as a victim, for instance, each telling rubs it in a little more deeply, and we end up living inside an echo chamber. To say nothing of whatever we believe is the story of our life.

• Our identity is a result of conditioned beliefs carried from a young age. They are unconscious and are formed during an impressionable period as a child. 

• We had little choice in the matter because our upbringing was not in our control. We must be willing to go to war against our inner critic to change our perspective.

The Root.

• The most important part of a tree is its root which is the foundation of its life. The deeper the roots, the greater the chances of survival against wind, rain, drought and fire. 

• When the root is deep, we need not fear the wind because understanding our heritage is an important part of carving out our future. It is in the roots, and not in the branches, that a tree’s greatest strength lies.

• Like branches of a tree, we grow in different directions, but our roots remain the same. Our identity is how we define who we are and how others define us. 

• The root of our identity is bitter, but the fruit is nourishing to our bodies. Our past experiences can bring us to the mirror. Overcoming difficult times through adolescence or adulthood can help us build resiliency in our sense of self. 

Environment.

• Our environment is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations, and our sense of identity and belonging is based on our experience, culture and surroundings. Knowing whom we help us know what we need to do, what is expected of us, and how others will react to us.

• As we navigate through life, our identities are formed through the choices we make. It is only by discovering who we are and what we are here for that we can have fulfilment in life. 

• Knowing who we are and having confidence in our self can identify our strengths. We emerge as stronger individuals, and it keeps us unique and distinguishes us from everyone else.

• We are not required to set ourselves on fire to keep others warm, and our soul will never be fully nourished by anyone’s love but our own. 

• The decision to love ourselves for who we are is a gift that we are giving to everyone around us just like a flower does not think of competing with another flower. It just blooms.

• But confronting our narratives may well trigger avalanches and mudslides. Hauling our stories in for questioning, no less acting in direct opposition to them, is likely to rock our world, if not other people’s. But if the call is to grow, these are growing pains, and ultimately a good thing.

The Process.

• The process of thinking is nothing but asking and answering questions. Our thinking changes the shape of our lives, so the questions we ask ourselves matter. 

• We often are not aware of them and how they impact our behaviour, but questions are a useful tool that takes our knowledge and turns it into action.

• It is a question that lives for those moments we can’t put into words that are at the heart of one of our most basic needs which is our need for identity. 

• We, as living beings, search for and find comfort in a solid sense of identity. It grounds us, gives us confidence, and our sense of self affects everything in our lives from the choices we make to the values we live by.

• A clear sense of who we are makes it easier to connect with others and become more memorable.

• We are all actors taking on different roles that we perform in different circumstances with meanings and expectations that are internalised as identities. 

• These roles which we believe are real include being a son, daughter, husband, wife, parent, friend, artist, leader, and so on. 

• Free choice means life is neutral and ready to respond to our thoughts because we are playing a game in which many of us are unaware of the rules.

The definition of our identity is who we are, the way we think about our self, the way we are viewed by others and the characteristics that define us like our race, ethnicity, gender, age, sexual orientation, physical attributes, personality, political affiliations, religious beliefs, professional identities, and so on. 

A Mirror.

• A mirror symbolises a reflection of our identity and we get the best results when we smile at it. It reflects our feelings, actions and thoughts. 

• The idea is that everything we experience in life reflects ourselves. Our birth doesn’t define who we are, it’s our attitude that defines us.

• Sometimes it is impossible to know where we are going without reflecting on where we came from, but if we know where we are from, it is harder for others to stop us from getting to our destination. 

• Emotional support we receive as children can influence our future relationships. Whether the experience is positive or negative, how we experience it and process those experiences shape the way we perceive ourselves. 

• Who we are is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations? Reality is a mirror reflecting how we think. It is neither fair nor unfair, it just confirms our thoughts as the user or experiencer. 

• What we hold in our minds comes to life irrespective of our preferences. We live in the landscape of our thoughts until they merge to become reality.

Culture is a huge influence as we interact with different groups. We adapt to different factors that include increased opportunities for social interaction facilitated by new technologies, globalisation, immigration and intermarriage between people from different cultural backgrounds.

The way we think drives the way we feel. When faced with difficult or frustrating situations, we can choose to focus on the problem, engage in negative self-talk, and focus our emotional energy on worrying and complaining or we can acknowledge what is challenging, discipline ourselves to see the big picture, engage in productive self-talk, and focus our emotional energy on finding a solution or enduring the challenge.