A long time ago, a car cut me off on my way to a dance Gig. In retaliation, I hit the accelerator and passed the offending car flipping the driver off as I drove by.
Shortly afterwards, I had to pull off onto a hard shoulder because of car trouble. The man whom I had flipped off was the one who stopped to help me. I felt horrible. The man showed kindness in response to my anger and lack of civility.
That kindness burned like coals of fire upon my head. I can never forget the lesson. Acting kindly to incivility requires a great deal of self-control and maturity. It requires that I treat others the way I want to be treated. Being kind to others, especially those who have harmed or hurt us, comes as I see others as my equals.
The best revenge is not taking any revenge at all. It’s not even holding on to any anger at all. It’s moving on with my life. It shows the offender that life is much better after they’re gone. It’s easy to blame those who have wronged me for just about everything wrong with my life.
If it wasn’t for them, I would be happy. If it wasn’t for them, I would have more money. If they didn’t do this, I would be where I want to be. Sometimes I get so caught up in a blame game that I continue to blame and sabotage my life long after the person is gone.
I hold on to the blame because it’s easier than moving on. Having an excuse or a story of why I am not where I want to get sympathy from others. The victim role gives me comfort and it is much easier than taking responsibility and moving on with my life.
However, it is not, and will never be a happy place to stay. If I take responsibility for my life and am willing to move on and put the past behind me, I am much more likely to gain freedom, success, and happiness. Now, this does not mean there aren’t horrible people in the world that have done wrong to me.
It is not condoning others’ behaviour. It is taking back the power they have from me when I am the one suffering long after they are gone. Who wins if I keep blaming them? Who wins if I move on, forget about them, and create the best life and success I could ever imagine? I win and take back my power.
I can blame them for what they have done, but I can’t blame them for what I haven’t done. I can blame them for what they’ve done, but bless them for making me stronger, and better. I can blame them for what they’ve done but thank them for showing me exactly what I don’t want.
I can blame the world for bringing them into my life, but then get grateful for all the lessons it taught me, all the strength and perspective it gave me. Knowing in my heart if they knew better, they would do better. Knowing in my heart I don’t need to take on any of their negative energy.
How good does it feel to take that baggage off my shoulders? To focus on building my future. What a blessing to let go, move forward and never look back.
The best revenge is not taking any revenge. It is simply moving on with my life and creating the best version of myself.