Among the tribes in Northern Natal in South Africa, the tribes greet each other with “Sawu bona” which in the English language is equivalent to saying “hello”. The phrase “Sawu bona” literally is defined as “I see you.”
If you were a member of the tribe you would reply, “Sikhona” Which in the English language is equivalent to saying, “I am here”. The order of the greeting of this exchange is important. And what it is saying…in literal translation. UNTIL YOU SEE ME – I do not exist. This means when you see me you bring me into existence.
I see you mean I know the love and your feelings, and your soul and you mean everything to me. We can only get better when we truly begin to see each other. We can only learn and grow when we acknowledge each other.
We can only make a difference if we know our existence matters.
When we acknowledge others, we hold up a mirror and say, “This is the person I see in you!”. Often for the first time, we awaken an awareness of qualities in individuals they have not noticed or accepted before. Often this newfound awareness builds self-esteem and empowerment to use their gifts.
In seeing another there is a gift for us as well. There is nothing more rewarding than watching someone light up from recognition of their greatness and then watching that moment renew their spirit as they move with new enthusiasm to own and utilise their fullest potential.
We all want to feel appreciated because it elicits the idea that our existence matters to someone else. It makes us feel valued and cherished because being appreciated is how we recognise that we are important to others and that our presence does make a difference in someone’s life.
We search for meaning to feel appreciated. While ‘meaning’ motivates us, it is ‘appreciation’ that transcends us. And how do we express appreciation for others, and in turn, receive more of it ourselves?
We tap into the incredible bottomless well of power within us called kindness.
Because if we learn how to freely give as little as an ounce of it, once per day, it can spread more love and appreciation around us.
Through the practice of appreciation, we demonstrate kindness, and through kindness and appreciation, we create meaning for everyone involved.
An authentic smile, a hand in solidarity and support, a willingness to listen when someone wants to speak. All these little acts of kindness trigger the release of oxytocin in our brains, “the love hormone.” Hence why the very act of selfless giving is rooted in us feeling good as well.
Whether we are conscious of it or not, appreciation tells a story. It paints a picture of the path ahead. It reminds us that all great things are in a process of rising and returning. Plants blossom, and then return to their roots. Waves rise to shore and then return to the ocean.
It can be an act of self-care. Meditating to calm the mind. Reading to expand our knowledge. Exercising to move our body. It can be the practice of mindfulness, love, or compassion.
At its core, it is about being useful. It is about honouring the gift of time that we have been given. And the way I see it, asking ourselves this question every single day will help us become more intentional about the life we want to live. It moves us from the default state of prospection into a more mindful state of introspection.
Our day begins with the sunrise and ends with the sunset. So, when the sun sets, ask yourself, what value have I added on this day of my life? If we cannot answer that question, then we have missed the point of what it means to live:
To do good with what we have, to honour our purpose passionately and contribute to society, to show compassion and love, to share experiences with others, and to do our best to enjoy every minute of it.